What if it were Jimmy?
by TwinkleToesToo
Summary: Title taken literally, from the conversation Ashley had with Ellie in The Bitterest Pill.


My note…angsty, tragic one-shot that's been bugging me ever since I watched The Bitterest Pill.

WHAT IF IT WERE JIMMY?

It all happened so fast, Ashley didn't even have time to react. Before she knew it, the two dark clothed figures were running down the block, with Jimmy's wallet in hand.

She slowly turned back to the scene, the glimmer of a shiny pocketknife caught her eye first, she followed the trail of blood droplets on the ground, that lead to the figure of her boyfriend, slumped over in his chair.

"Jimmy", she barely whispered, but the sound in her head was more like a shout. Ashley fan over to his side and grabbed him under the arms, just as he began to crumple to the ground…a seemingly effortless task for a woman of her size.

Ashley gently cradled his head in her lap and placed her other hand over the growing spot of red, pooling from his chest. His eyes were opened and wide, searching and finally locking with hers. "I love you Ash", he gasped, difficultly as his eyes began to flutter shut.

"This is not goodbye. Do you hear me, Jimmy?….This is not goodbye", Ashley yelled at him. "Jimmy, Jimmy", she pleaded, shaking him gently when she didn't get a response. "Jimmy open your eyes….please", she cried, sobbing harder.

"Help! Please, somebody help me", she screamed into the dark night.

Ashley wasn't sure if it was seconds or hours, but suddenly there were two paramedics kneeling beside her, trying to remove Jimmy from her grasp so they could work on him.

A flurry of questions were thrown her way, but Ashley's only response was a weak, "Is he still breathing?".

"Barely", the first paramedic stated, working with the second to lift Jimmy onto the gurney. "We've gotta go, now", he ordered to his partner.

The second paramedic put her arm around Ashley's shoulders and guided her to the passenger side of the ambulance. "You can ride up front, with me", she stated comfortingly. Ashley nodded absently as she took her seat.

Ashley watched the activity from the window as they pulled out onto the street. "He needs his chair", Ashley blurted, turning to the paramedic as they passed the scene.

The driver nodded a offered Ashley a sympathetic smile and patted her hand. "The officers on scene will bring it to the hospital, okay?", she assured Ashley.

Once again, Ashley nodded blankly and turned her attention out the ambulance window.

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Kate Kerwin sat holding her daughter as a detective asked her question after question. Ashley kept turning her attention down the hall where Mr. and Mrs. Brooks sat, waiting for the doctor to arrive with news on Jimmy's condition. The waiting area started to fill up as their friends arrived to sit vigil.

"This isn't fair Mom", Ashley cried into her mother's shoulder, while the detective took a quick break to get a cup of coffee. "He doesn't deserve this, he's been through so much already...".

"I don't know sweetie", Kate replied comfortingly. "sometimes bad things happen to good people".

"He has to be okay..he made it through the shooting, he can make it through this", Ashley pleaded, looking to her mother for some kind of confirmation. Kate couldn't offer any. "I can't lose him, Mom...Ican't...", Ashley sobbed uncontrolably.

Kate squeezed her daughter as tight as she could and that was the only comfort she could offer. She sat there for a few minutes rocking Ashley back and forth until a loud thud from down the hall interupted the calm .

Ashley turned to see Spinner repeatedly punching the wall behind him, while Mr. Brooks tried to comfort his inconsolable wife. She raced down the hall, only to be met with a distraught Marco, a shocked Ellie and a sobbing Paige.

"Wha-what happened?", she stuttered looking between her friends. Spinner walked over and his anger immediately turned into anguish. "Tell me he's okay", she ordered fiercely. "Tell me he not...".

Marco caught her just as she slid to the ground. "He can't be...",she gasped incoherently. The group gathered around Ashley and huddled together...but she had never felt more alone.

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The days leading up to the funeral were a blur, night ran into day, as Ashley took to her room in mourning. The funeral itself was a surreal experience. Ashley stood next to the head of the casket, never once leaving Jimmy's side."Ash, we need to go now", Ellie whispered as Marco, put his arm around her shoulder.

"I never got to tell him I loved him", she admitted painfully, lovingly caressing his hand, so much that day, she'd rubbed most of the make-up off. Marco and Ellie gave her a perplexed look and she continued. "I know I've said it hundreds of times...but that was the last thing he said to me...and I never got to say it back", she cried, fresh tears.

"He knew how much you loved him", Marco assured her, his own eyes tearing up.

Ashley looked back at Jimmy. "I told him it wasn't goodbye...I'm not ready for goodbye", she pleading to the still form in front of her.

"I know, Ash...none of us are...", Ellie whispered, nearly unable to speak through her own tears.

"But it's time to go Ashley", Marco finished for Ellie.

Ashley nodded and leaned forward, cupping Jimmy's face and whispered something into his ear. She kissed Jimmy's cheek, then his lips, before allowing Ellie and Marco to escort her out.

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There was a memorial at school, but Ashley didn't go. In fact, she hasn't been back to school since Jimmy died. There's only one place she ever goes...

It's only been a few weeks, but Ashley sits at her usual spot and runs her fingers across the name she was sure one day, would be hers.

"We were going to graduate together, go to NYU, open up a law practice. We were supposed to get married, have a family and live happily ever after", she states, not sure who she even supposed to be talking to. It doesn't matter anymore, nothing does...not school, not friends...nothing.

Ashley hugs the cold black stone tighter...Jimmy's gone, her Romeo is gone...she takes the bottle of sedatives from her purse...and what is Juliet, without her Romeo.

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Okay, I still can't believe I actually wrote this, I seriously cried the entire time. It's been sitting around for a long time, and since I just finished Best friends, I thought I'd post it now.

I took what Ashley said in TBP literally, and put a Romeo & Juliet spin on it. And yes, you can assume Ash takes the pills and dies, I just couldn't write it...this was sad enough. Please review and tell me what you think.


End file.
